"back when i was president..."

"trust me, i don't even understand what's going on here"

"of course i'm listening!"

"the quarterly nerd convention is now in session!"

"hey matt, take a picture of my bum"

"who's your daddy?"

"watch as i make a really funny facial expression"

"i am a beauty queen. get me my san pelegrino mineral sparkling water! and no ice. for every piece of ice i find, i shall kill you"

"i am a greek god. watch as i pose for the camera"

"i am a german god. watch as i pose for the camera" a.k.a. "look, someone is taking a picture! let's try to sneak into the background!"

"this picture is so good that it doesnt even need a title"

"they call me big mack daddy matt"

"black people love me!"